Tag: education

Hearing From Former Students in China

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China can be a challenging and difficult place to be a young student. This massive population and its limited high quality Universities makes the Gaokao, China’s college entrance exam, not only one of the toughest tests in the world it is also the test that determines a student’s academic future- therefore future. This test is taken by every Chinese student (except those who opt out by choosing to study abroad) and it is a test that they spend their entire middle school and high school lives preparing to take.

Universities are known more for having a good time in China than for studying, but there are a few top collages that many students in China dream of attending for academic purposes and those are universities in Beijing and Shanghai, and only the top Gaokao scores can attend these schools. Too add to the stress the desired score to attend college in these cities is different from province to province- for example if you are a student from the Province where I am currently living ,Henan, then you have to score higher on the Goakao than a student from Beijing or Shanghai or even a student from a Province with a lower population. The idea of this different scores plan is that it allows some balance. Henan is the most populated province in China and the thought is that if everyone was to need to the same score to get into a top University then there would be too many kids from Henan at all the top Universities. Honestly, I’m not certain how they came to this conclusion but if I were a student from Henan dreaming of going to a top University many of which are in not Henan I would feel that the scoring isn’t very fair, but I don’t make the rules.

During the school year at #47 I met a few students through our English corner- students who were not a part of my program, a Sino-U.S. program. One of these students, a young girl whose english blew away all of my students bound for the states, was a particular favorite of mine. She’s bright, ambitious, and a free-thinker. She’s fortunate enough to have parents that are pretty progressive so progressive in fact that they are not pressing marriage or even having a child (not yet anyway). She has some lofty goals. She wants to change the way China views mental health. This is a lofty goal. Currently, China’s view on mental health is fairly archaic, and those suffering from depression or bi-polar or even worse schizophrenia to name a few are left to the responsibility of the family who are unable to cope with these illnesses and of course those families and individuals suffer the stigmas that come along with backward thinking toward mental health issues. You can read about it here: http://www.theatlantic.com/china/archive/2013/07/unable-to-cope-chinas-inadequate-care-of-the-mentally-ill/278170/

and here: http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/article.aspx?articleID=1682419

and here: http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2011/01/26/the_madness_of_china_s_mental_health_system

To make an incredibly long story short- this student sent me a text message today: “Hello how are you? I wanted to share my news, I am going to Shanghai University!”

I was so excited to read this news because I know how hard the Gaokoa is and how many students that I ask about their dreams don’t emphasize those dreams much because they worry about the competition of this test. I texted her back expressing my joy to her and letting her know how proud I am to know her. She responded with the best text one can ever get from a teenager.

“We are closer to our dream now! Don’t forget that I will be your first student!”

She was never my student but I’m really honored that she considers me to be one of her teachers because all we ever did was talk about life and dreams.

 

Why I Left America, the Third Time

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A Final Rejection Letter

“Applicants who have not been notified of admission or placement on the waitlist by April 2, 2013 should assume they will not be offered admission for 2013-2014. Because of the high number of applications and limited staff, it is not possible to send out denial notifications until late spring. Applicants who wish to confirm their application status sooner, may contact the Programs in Writing after April 16, 2013.”

-Love UCI Irvine

Cut out letters of N O
Photo by alleksana on Pexels.com

A lot of people are good enough, and a lot of people are exceptional. However, there are a lot of people in the world, and not enough spaces in elite institutions.

A Great Disappointment

The University of Irvine didn’t bother to send a rejection letter. They just let me and everyone else who appiled to stop waiting around. Our $88.00 dollar application fee wasn’t even worth a standard personal letter of rejection. I wonder how much Universities make from application fees. I also wonder where that money goes. Not back into the students, since they can’t even set up an automated rejection letter that makes it look as if they regarded your application as much as they regarded your fee.

I’d been rejected from Brown, Syracuse, and San Diego, but Irvine was the most insulting. They were the most expensive to apply to and gave the least personalized response. Californians, am I right? I feel, as a Californian, I can make fun of the vanity and superiority complex of the institutions of my home state. were able to send an e-mail rejection.

A Chip on My Shoulder

Anyway… that’s over. I’ve had to ask myself, what now? I had wanted to go to graduate school, but I don’t know if I have the heart to fork out more money when I’m clearly not qualified to go. Honestly, graduate school was just a symbol for me anyway. I symbol of success and escape from the poverty and welfare that I was raised in. It would prove that I was intelligent, that I was not white trash or trailer trash or all the other disparaging words that ended in trash. I had a chip on my shoulder and acceptance into a graduate program was going to remove that chip.

Only, I wasn’t accepted. Maybe if I had the money to apply again, I would have done it, but it was too much money for fees. It felt a bit like getting robbed. Like all these universities had a bridge to sell me.

A Land of Opportunity Elsewhere

Maybe, America wasn’t the land of opportunity, after all. Maybe the land of opportunity was somewhere else. Somewhere beyond the seas, but how could this tailer trash get out there beyond the seas?

I had done it before. I was older now, but not feeling wiser. I was feeling rejected, and a little bit worthless and with a significant amount of money missing from my pocket, but I had left America once, no twice, before, so it was time to find another way out.

 

Opening Speech for the Tuition Fundraiser: Don’t Short Change the Muse

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Terry O’Neil, CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

William S. Burroughs once said, “Cheat your landlord if you can and must, but do not try to short change the muse. It cannot be done. You can’t fake quality anymore than you can fake a good meal”.

He meant to always be truthful in what you write and what you do, dirty or clean, as long as it is you and yours. I also take it to mean, “don’t cut corners when it comes to what you love”.

In any art form the artist needs to continue to grow. As every artist knows nothing is more detrimental than complacency and routine. As soon as you are comfortable: change. As soon as you are popular: give them a left hook. That is our exercise as artists. We need to keep learning no matter how old we get. The grey matter in our head is plastic and expands, but only with use. Practice does make perfect, and as soon as you are perfect it’s time to cut that shit up and take a risk.

This event was a very last-minute thing for me, setting up the auction and the fundraiser, I’m amazed it has actually all come together in so little time. I had not expected to be accepted into the  Atheneum program at the Attic and was not prepared with the tuition. Like most of us, I survive by tooth and nail, but when I received the acceptance letter something inside me said, don’t say no because of the money.

The Atheneum is about building a community of writers, it is about creating a circle of learning. I have had my share of community involvement through organizations like Write Around Portland and Playwrite Inc., In both organizations I have volunteered my time to help others, all through writing and performance. This is something I have always enjoyed, and for no other reason other than that I think Art Saves Lives. I believe art can touch and change people.

This is the first time I have ever asked for money for myself, and this is also the first time I have ever built a show. The first time I have ever showcased any of my work, and in a very short time I have learned a great deal about community. The reason I followed through with this event is because of all the names you see in the program. I was amazed at the sheer excitement, joy and support my friends have offered in putting this together, and that support and joy extended out. I never knew so many people had wanted to see me succeed in my dreams, and I am honored.

There is not one artist in the history of art that did not have some network. Even the most solitary and loneliest of us need support even Van Gogh had his brother Theo. Our society, our media projects the image that certain famous artists and writers were loners and climbed to the top on their own, but this is a falsehood, everyone has held the hand of at least one person. And that is what we are doing here tonight; holding hands. You are holding my hands as I ask you for help in making my dream of becoming a great American novelist come true, so that in turn I can hold the hand of another.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of you that have helped pull this together and to those of you for being here.

Thank you to Bar Carlo for the space, be sure to buy yourself some drinks and tip the bartender. Also don’t forget to check out the silent auction. The show is about to begin!

The show began…and ended beautifully.

A single red rose bud on a bush.

How to Fundraise Using Performance and Art

Published on by An Accidental Vagabond2 Comments

Why am I Raising Funds?

I was accepted into The Attic’s Antheneum program, but I don’t have the money to pay for it. It is an alternative to a MFA. It is still not an easy program to get accepted into, but it is a lot more affordable than a MFA program. However, I still don’t have the money to pay for it. After speaking with a friend, she suggested that I have a fundraiser. I felt a little uncomfortable at first asking people to give me money for a program that would only benefit me. It seemed too selfish a request, but my friend convinced me that I could do a fundraiser for myself. That it wasn’t an extraordinary thing to do. She also offered to help.

What Kind of Fundraiser

I am producing a variety show. A real vaudevillian callback. I have an opera singer, a burlesque dancer, some music, a comedian, and I will be performing three readings. I will be reading one spoken word, one monologue and a bit from my novel. I put together the program, the schedule, and found people to donate their talent and time. I also found a place that was willing to offer up their space.

Promoting When You Feel You are an Imposter

Promoting is a huge part of the process and I am not the best at self promoting. Yet, I have to promote in order to get people to come to my fundraiser. How else do people know what you are doing ,and what it is they have the opportunity to see.

I have terrible imposter syndrome, so having this fundraiser and promoting it is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. If I wasn’t the main star and the subject and the needy, I could do it no problem. Since I am the star and it is about me, its more difficult for me to promote, because, and I’m sorry to admit this because it reveals the depths of my vulnerability, I just don’t think I’m worth much. I know, terrible to say, but I have a near zero level of self-esteem when it comes to my writing, art, photography– anything I create. Which I suppose is the definition of imposter syndrome. I’m trying though. I’m posting it all right here.

This is the first time I have ever done anything like this. A show about me for me. However, I have a lot of talented friends who will also be performing. Through all my insecurities, I believe the audiences is going to get a good show. For the promotion, I did a bunch of tongue in cheek promo pictures for my invite.

A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She is laughing as she holds a notebook, a pen and an umbrella over her shoulder.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in next to a garden. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She looks away from the camera smiling at someone out of the frame. She holds a notebook and a pen.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in next to a garden. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She looks away from the camera speaking to someone out of the frame. She holds a notebook and a pen.
A medium close up of a woman in profile. She is in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair, brown framed glasses and she is holding a clear umbrella with a koi fish print. She is dressed in a bright red sweater. She is looking at a notebook.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She looks at the camera as she holds a notebook, a pen and an umbrella over her shoulder.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She is writing in a black notebook as she holds an umbrella over her shoulder.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She holds a pen to her lips as she looks off in contemplation. She has a notebook, and an umbrella over her shoulder.
The writer
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She is writing in a black notebook as she holds an umbrella over her shoulder.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She looks at the camera as she holds a notebook, a pen and an umbrella over her shoulder.
What does a writer look like? A photo shoot for the Fundraiser invite

Don’t Short Change the Muse

The name of the show is, Don’t Short Change the Muse. It comes from something William Burroughs once said. It is on the 22nd of June and will be happening here in Portland. I’m not sure how many Portland people read this post, but if you want to come you are invited. The info is at the bottom of this post.

A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She holds a pen to her lips as she looks off in contemplation. She has a notebook, and an umbrella over her shoulder.
The writer
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She is writing in a black notebook as she holds an umbrella over her shoulder.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She looks at the camera as she holds a notebook, a pen and an umbrella over her shoulder.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She is laughing as she holds a notebook, a pen and an umbrella over her shoulder.
We narrowed it down to these four.

The Final Invitation

In the end we decided to scrap the profile pictures and go with something else.

Don’t Short Change the Muse

Come join me and guests for one night at Bar Carlo for a variety show of readings, poetry, music, vaudeville, a couple loose cannons, opera and burlesque.
Help Adrienna raise tuition money for the Attic’s The Atheneum.
There will be a silent auction with donations from the following artists: and businesses:

Lucy’s Table, Presents of Mind, Tasi, Seasons K. Designs, From the Reliquary, SmashCuts, Artist Jen Smith, Jesse Jacob Young Photographer, Silk Rose Acupuncture, Technology is Real, Luscious Jewelry and more…

All funds go to Adrienna’s tuition.

A Sliding Scale Entrance fee of $5 to $15 dollars (no one will be turned away).

Doors open at 7:00p.m. show starts at 8:00 p.m.

A special thank you to Bar Carlo for the space.

Help make a great writer and help support a craftsperson. Writing like all other arts is a craft to be cultivated and nurtured. Writing done well is about community, it is about life.

An antique typewriter on a desk with worn books and written letters.