“Applicants who have not been notified of admission or placement on the waitlist by April 2, 2013 should assume they will not be offered admission for 2013-2014. Because of the high number of applications and limited staff, it is not possible to send out denial notifications until late spring. Applicants who wish to confirm their application status sooner, may contact the Programs in Writing after April 16, 2013.”
A lot of people are good enough, and a lot of people are exceptional. However, there are a lot of people in the world, and not enough spaces in elite institutions.
A Great Disappointment
The University of Irvine didn’t bother to send a rejection letter. They just let me and everyone else who appiled to stop waiting around. Our $88.00 dollar application fee wasn’t even worth a standard personal letter of rejection. I wonder how much Universities make from application fees. I also wonder where that money goes. Not back into the students, since they can’t even set up an automated rejection letter that makes it look as if they regarded your application as much as they regarded your fee.
I’d been rejected from Brown, Syracuse, and San Diego, but Irvine was the most insulting. They were the most expensive to apply to and gave the least personalized response. Californians, am I right? I feel, as a Californian, I can make fun of the vanity and superiority complex of the institutions of my home state. were able to send an e-mail rejection.
A Chip on My Shoulder
Anyway… that’s over. I’ve had to ask myself, what now? I had wanted to go to graduate school, but I don’t know if I have the heart to fork out more money when I’m clearly not qualified to go. Honestly, graduate school was just a symbol for me anyway. I symbol of success and escape from the poverty and welfare that I was raised in. It would prove that I was intelligent, that I was not white trash or trailer trash or all the other disparaging words that ended in trash. I had a chip on my shoulder and acceptance into a graduate program was going to remove that chip.
Only, I wasn’t accepted. Maybe if I had the money to apply again, I would have done it, but it was too much money for fees. It felt a bit like getting robbed. Like all these universities had a bridge to sell me.
A Land of Opportunity Elsewhere
Maybe, America wasn’t the land of opportunity, after all. Maybe the land of opportunity was somewhere else. Somewhere beyond the seas, but how could this tailer trash get out there beyond the seas?
I had done it before. I was older now, but not feeling wiser. I was feeling rejected, and a little bit worthless and with a significant amount of money missing from my pocket, but I had left America once, no twice, before, so it was time to find another way out.
My friend Jen Smith created this drawing based on a poem I wrote awhile back.
I am setting up another fundraiser in order to help me pay for my tuition. This will be the second variety show that I produce. I am lucky that I happen to know some very talented performers. And this time I have the help of two friends.
Art, Music, Dance, and Film
Jen is drawing three pieces to go with one of my poems to sell at our silent auction. I have two other painters doing their own pieces. One piece that I haven’t seen yet is being done based on another of my poems. There will also be a short film, cello music, storytelling to music, burlesque, opera and an acting performance, and a reading. It is a great way to bring people together see some great art and to raise money.
When and Why
The show is on the 14th of November so it is coming up soon. Hopefully I will raise enough to pay off my tuition. This fundraisers goal is higher than the last: $1,200.00 dollars. It will feel good to know I paid for this through art versus taking out a loan. Paid in full by my own hard work and the help of artists. How amazing is that?
Collaboration Work
This fundraiser has a lot more collaborative work allowing for cross-medium and genre performances. I am working with my friend video/film maker Francis and we are going to make a video to another one of my poems: This is the Power of Performance. Now Set the Poet Free. Poetry is not my main medium, but I am collaborating a lot with my poetry. I am also collaborating with visual artists, and musicians. The band the Waking Guild, has sent me one of their songs and I wrote a story to it, so instead of singing I will be performing a reading over the music.
One Night Only
The show is this Sunday, and I have some incredible people performing. I’m really amazed with the amount of talent. I hope I have a good turn out, not just to make the money I need for school, but also just so that there is an audience for these great performers.
Don’t Short Change the Muse II
Once again we will be having another fundraiser to help Adrienna pay her final tuition fees for The Attic Anthenum.
We’ve put together another fantastic night of music, dance, acting, and multimedia visual art. Come early to enjoy the hordourves, drinks, and fun ambience.
There will be a silent auction and this time we have even more incredible art, crafts, and services for you to bid upon.
November 14th 2011, 7:00 p.m.
Come join us in community and art.
This is the drawing used in the invitation is by Jen Smith and inspired by my poem Girl. I’m really thrilled with what she has created. The originals will be up for the auction on Sunday, and prints will also be available for purchase. It is strange to see one of my poems come alive in a drawing.
William S. Burroughs once said, “Cheat your landlord if you can and must, but do not try to short change the muse. It cannot be done. You can’t fake quality anymore than you can fake a good meal”.
He meant to always be truthful in what you write and what you do, dirty or clean, as long as it is you and yours. I also take it to mean, “don’t cut corners when it comes to what you love”.
In any art form the artist needs to continue to grow. As every artist knows nothing is more detrimental than complacency and routine. As soon as you are comfortable: change. As soon as you are popular: give them a left hook. That is our exercise as artists. We need to keep learning no matter how old we get. The grey matter in our head is plastic and expands, but only with use. Practice does make perfect, and as soon as you are perfect it’s time to cut that shit up and take a risk.
This event was a very last-minute thing for me, setting up the auction and the fundraiser, I’m amazed it has actually all come together in so little time. I had not expected to be accepted into the Atheneum program at the Attic and was not prepared with the tuition. Like most of us, I survive by tooth and nail, but when I received the acceptance letter something inside me said, don’t say no because of the money.
The Atheneum is about building a community of writers, it is about creating a circle of learning. I have had my share of community involvement through organizations like Write Around Portland and Playwrite Inc., In both organizations I have volunteered my time to help others, all through writing and performance. This is something I have always enjoyed, and for no other reason other than that I think Art Saves Lives. I believe art can touch and change people.
This is the first time I have ever asked for money for myself, and this is also the first time I have ever built a show. The first time I have ever showcased any of my work, and in a very short time I have learned a great deal about community. The reason I followed through with this event is because of all the names you see in the program. I was amazed at the sheer excitement, joy and support my friends have offered in putting this together, and that support and joy extended out. I never knew so many people had wanted to see me succeed in my dreams, and I am honored.
There is not one artist in the history of art that did not have some network. Even the most solitary and loneliest of us need support even Van Gogh had his brother Theo. Our society, our media projects the image that certain famous artists and writers were loners and climbed to the top on their own, but this is a falsehood, everyone has held the hand of at least one person. And that is what we are doing here tonight; holding hands. You are holding my hands as I ask you for help in making my dream of becoming a great American novelist come true, so that in turn I can hold the hand of another.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of you that have helped pull this together and to those of you for being here.
Thank you to Bar Carlo for the space, be sure to buy yourself some drinks and tip the bartender. Also don’t forget to check out the silent auction. The show is about to begin!
Days later, and I still can’t believe that three weeks ago this fundraiser for me and created by me with the support of a friend (the amazing Alisa Peck), was just some random thought. I have random thoughts all the time. I am a talker, not often a doer. I’m an optimistic pessimist, do you know how hard that is? I’m still not sure this really happened, but there are pictures and I have a program that I created to prove it.
Setting up the music rack to hold my speech.Reading my poem, “I am not your Sylvia”Red magic shoesReading poetry
Bar Carlo was a fairly new establishment in SE Portland. My friend and current employer, recently opened a bar across the street, and she had become friends with the owners of Bar Carlo. It was due to the proximity to my friend’s bar and her relationship with the owners that I was able to have the fundraiser in their restaurant. This is the beauty of networking. Actually, I’d say deeper than networking, because networking is more about opportunistic pursuits. The word I’m thinking of is community. There is of course a reciprocal relationship between the fundraiser and the restaurant. I will bring people into their establishment and those people will order drinks, and maybe they’ll come back. However, the restaurant loses an immediate profit by hosting my fundraiser. They let me have it as a private party during a night that they are normally closed, but they did not charge me for the space. They donated their space to help a fundraiser for me to raise money for a writing program. They don’t know me personally, but they knew my friend, and that’s why they agreed. Community.
We didn’t have to pay for anything but the drinks. A friend brought the spread of awesome food, and another friend brought a red velvet cake (that her ten-year old son picked out). It was all a community event to help me pursue my dreams.
Bar Carlo, a great place for cocktails, brunch, and dinner.
Don’t Short Change the Muse
Act I
I opened with a speech that I wrote. I went right into my first piece, a spoken word poem titled, “I Am Not Your Syliva“. A poem referencing the great Sylvia Plath, but also a poem about women taking back and holding their place in the poetry world.
The lights flashed and then in character, as Abagail, I waltzed onto the stage (the floor space). This drew people to their seats, and then in an exaggerated southern drawl, I began to speak. It is a comedic piece with a farcical performance. It was very fun to perform.
An Operatic Duet
Sarah and Meghan sang an operatic duet, “The Flower,” ( Lakme), written by Leo Delibes. It was absolutely stunning. Jaw dropping. (I wish I could have recorded their voices, it was unforgettably beautiful.)
And we ended with more Burlesque from Miss Fannie Fuller, who was also my friend, the wonderful Alisa Peck who inspired me to do this fundraiser in the first place. She guided me and held my hand through the entire process. I am forever grateful.
The Silent Auction
Aside from all the performers who volunteered their time and talent to my personal cause, I also had friends who donated their crafts, art and services for a silent auction.
As soon as people arrived we encouraged them to look over the gift cards, crafts, foods, and art, and starting bidding on what they wanted to take home with them. Quiet bidding went on during the duration of the performance. Another reminder of the silent auction was given during the intermission, and after the performance I gave patrons and guests five minutes to make their final bids. I announced the winners as a closing part of the night.
Artists and businesses had donated around $500.00 dollars worth of items and services to the auction including art, jewelry, a facial, acupuncture, hair cut, a dinner and journals.
Donations from Friends and Friends of Friends
A Successful Fundraising Event
This felt like it was all done on the fly, but it wasn’t. It was just done in a very minute time frame. Three weeks to get it all organized and executed. I wasn’t able to do it alone. I pulled this together because so many people wanted to help and wanted to be involved, which was amazing. Honestly, I didn’t think it was possible to pull together an anachronistic variety show in a matter of two and a half weeks. Obviously you can, with the help of loving friends and community, anything is possible. And the level of performance was stunning, so surprising. I had never seen any of the performers perform before so it was all new to me, too. I really enjoyed emceeing, hosting and performing. The programing worked great, and that was amazing.
The Goal
My hope, and my goal was to make at least enough to make my first payment. All I needed was $400.00 since I had already saved up $250.00 (The Attic has been kind enough to break my payments into four installments of $650.00) my first payment is due July 15th. I made $797.00 dollars that night. Beyond my expectations and hopes! I have already made my first payment and almost my second payment.
I’m still pinching myself that all this came together. But it did. It really did.
An Accidental Vagabond 