Tag: overcoming writing obstacles

Why I Left America, the Third Time

Published on by An Accidental Vagabond2 Comments

A Final Rejection Letter

“Applicants who have not been notified of admission or placement on the waitlist by April 2, 2013 should assume they will not be offered admission for 2013-2014. Because of the high number of applications and limited staff, it is not possible to send out denial notifications until late spring. Applicants who wish to confirm their application status sooner, may contact the Programs in Writing after April 16, 2013.”

-Love UCI Irvine

Cut out letters of N O
Photo by alleksana on Pexels.com

A lot of people are good enough, and a lot of people are exceptional. However, there are a lot of people in the world, and not enough spaces in elite institutions.

A Great Disappointment

The University of Irvine didn’t bother to send a rejection letter. They just let me and everyone else who appiled to stop waiting around. Our $88.00 dollar application fee wasn’t even worth a standard personal letter of rejection. I wonder how much Universities make from application fees. I also wonder where that money goes. Not back into the students, since they can’t even set up an automated rejection letter that makes it look as if they regarded your application as much as they regarded your fee.

I’d been rejected from Brown, Syracuse, and San Diego, but Irvine was the most insulting. They were the most expensive to apply to and gave the least personalized response. Californians, am I right? I feel, as a Californian, I can make fun of the vanity and superiority complex of the institutions of my home state. were able to send an e-mail rejection.

A Chip on My Shoulder

Anyway… that’s over. I’ve had to ask myself, what now? I had wanted to go to graduate school, but I don’t know if I have the heart to fork out more money when I’m clearly not qualified to go. Honestly, graduate school was just a symbol for me anyway. I symbol of success and escape from the poverty and welfare that I was raised in. It would prove that I was intelligent, that I was not white trash or trailer trash or all the other disparaging words that ended in trash. I had a chip on my shoulder and acceptance into a graduate program was going to remove that chip.

Only, I wasn’t accepted. Maybe if I had the money to apply again, I would have done it, but it was too much money for fees. It felt a bit like getting robbed. Like all these universities had a bridge to sell me.

A Land of Opportunity Elsewhere

Maybe, America wasn’t the land of opportunity, after all. Maybe the land of opportunity was somewhere else. Somewhere beyond the seas, but how could this tailer trash get out there beyond the seas?

I had done it before. I was older now, but not feeling wiser. I was feeling rejected, and a little bit worthless and with a significant amount of money missing from my pocket, but I had left America once, no twice, before, so it was time to find another way out.

 

How to have a Successful Fundraiser for a Future Writer

Published on by An Accidental Vagabond1 Comment

“Don’t Short Change The Muse” really happened.

Days later, and I still can’t believe that three weeks ago this fundraiser for me and created by me with the support of a friend (the amazing Alisa Peck), was just some random thought. I have random thoughts all the time. I am a talker, not often a doer. I’m an optimistic pessimist, do you know how hard that is? I’m still not sure this really happened, but there are pictures and I have a program that I created to prove it.

A woman in a black dress is adjusting a music stand while speaking with someone out of frame.
Setting up the music rack to hold my speech.
A woman in a black dress is standing behind a music stand. She is reciting a poem.
Reading my poem, “I am not your Sylvia”
A pair of red high heel shoes.
Red magic shoes
A woman in a black dress is standing behind a music stand. She is reciting a poem.
Reading poetry

I emceed, and opened the show with my poem, “I am not your Sylvia.”

Bar Carlo: Location of the Fundraiser

Bar Carlo was a fairly new establishment in SE Portland. My friend and current employer, recently opened a bar across the street, and she had become friends with the owners of Bar Carlo. It was due to the proximity to my friend’s bar and her relationship with the owners that I was able to have the fundraiser in their restaurant. This is the beauty of networking. Actually, I’d say deeper than networking, because networking is more about opportunistic pursuits. The word I’m thinking of is community. There is of course a reciprocal relationship between the fundraiser and the restaurant. I will bring people into their establishment and those people will order drinks, and maybe they’ll come back. However, the restaurant loses an immediate profit by hosting my fundraiser. They let me have it as a private party during a night that they are normally closed, but they did not charge me for the space. They donated their space to help a fundraiser for me to raise money for a writing program. They don’t know me personally, but they knew my friend, and that’s why they agreed. Community.

We didn’t have to pay for anything but the drinks. A friend brought the spread of awesome food, and another friend brought a red velvet cake (that her ten-year old son picked out). It was all a community event to help me pursue my dreams.

The front of a restaurant called Bar Carlo.
Bar Carlo, a great place for cocktails, brunch, and dinner.

Don’t Short Change the Muse

Act I

I opened with a speech that I wrote. I went right into my first piece, a spoken word poem titled, “I Am Not Your Syliva“. A poem referencing the great Sylvia Plath, but also a poem about women taking back and holding their place in the poetry world.

Poetry Reading

A woman in a black dress is standing behind a music stand. She is reciting a poem.

Arias and an Accordion

Sarah of Carpe Vocum Singing, sang Ach Ich Fuhl’s, from Mozart’s The Magic Flute.

A woman singing and playing the accordion.

Burlesque

Miss Fannie Fuller danced an amazing burlesque piece to Le Hot Jazz

A female burlesque dancer beginning to unzip her costume.

Classic Sketch Comedy

A tribute Monty Python comedy troupe: Cirque De-cision, performed the sketch, “Army Protection Racket.“

A young woman in a 1940's military uniform looks shocked as she speaks with a male officer whose face is turned away from the camera.

ACT II

In the second act I opened with a monologue I wrote titled, “The Tragedy of Abigail Lockhart”.

Monologue and a Concertina

The lights flashed and then in character, as Abagail, I waltzed onto the stage (the floor space). This drew people to their seats, and then in an exaggerated southern drawl, I began to speak. It is a comedic piece with a farcical performance. It was very fun to perform.

An Operatic Duet

Sarah and Meghan sang an operatic duet, “The Flower,” ( Lakme), written by Leo Delibes. It was absolutely stunning. Jaw dropping. (I wish I could have recorded their voices, it was unforgettably beautiful.)

Two young women singing an operatic duet.

Sketch Comedy

Cirque De-Cision performed “Children’s Stories.”

A white man in his mid twenties, sits on a chair looking at a program.

A Novel Reading

I read a piece from my novel Zizkov

A woman in a black dress is standing behind a music stand. She is reciting a poem.

More “Salacious” Burlesque

And we ended with more Burlesque from Miss Fannie Fuller, who was also my friend, the wonderful Alisa Peck who inspired me to do this fundraiser in the first place. She guided me and held my hand through the entire process. I am forever grateful.

A close up of a woman's hand holding a large white feathered fan.

The Silent Auction

Aside from all the performers who volunteered their time and talent to my personal cause, I also had friends who donated their crafts, art and services for a silent auction.

As soon as people arrived we encouraged them to look over the gift cards, crafts, foods, and art, and starting bidding on what they wanted to take home with them. Quiet bidding went on during the duration of the performance. Another reminder of the silent auction was given during the intermission, and after the performance I gave patrons and guests five minutes to make their final bids. I announced the winners as a closing part of the night.

A group of people stand around a woman who is reading a paper.
A photo of a woman's legs from the bottom of her black dress to her bright red high heel shoes.

Artists and businesses had donated around $500.00 dollars worth of items and services to the auction including art, jewelry, a facial, acupuncture, hair cut, a dinner and journals.

Drawings of various art up for auction.
Donations from Friends and Friends of Friends

A Successful Fundraising Event

This felt like it was all done on the fly, but it wasn’t. It was just done in a very minute time frame. Three weeks to get it all organized and executed. I wasn’t able to do it alone. I pulled this together because so many people wanted to help and wanted to be involved, which was amazing. Honestly, I didn’t think it was possible to pull together an anachronistic variety show in a matter of two and a half weeks. Obviously you can, with the help of loving friends and community, anything is possible. And the level of performance was stunning, so surprising. I had never seen any of the performers perform before so it was all new to me, too. I really enjoyed emceeing, hosting and performing. The programing worked great, and that was amazing.

The Goal

My hope, and my goal was to make at least enough to make my first payment. All I needed was $400.00 since I had already saved up $250.00 (The Attic has been kind enough to break my payments into four installments of $650.00) my first payment is due July 15th. I made $797.00 dollars that night. Beyond my expectations and hopes! I have already made my first payment and almost my second payment.

I’m still pinching myself that all this came together. But it did. It really did.

How to Fundraise Using Performance and Art

Published on by An Accidental Vagabond2 Comments

Why am I Raising Funds?

I was accepted into The Attic’s Antheneum program, but I don’t have the money to pay for it. It is an alternative to a MFA. It is still not an easy program to get accepted into, but it is a lot more affordable than a MFA program. However, I still don’t have the money to pay for it. After speaking with a friend, she suggested that I have a fundraiser. I felt a little uncomfortable at first asking people to give me money for a program that would only benefit me. It seemed too selfish a request, but my friend convinced me that I could do a fundraiser for myself. That it wasn’t an extraordinary thing to do. She also offered to help.

What Kind of Fundraiser

I am producing a variety show. A real vaudevillian callback. I have an opera singer, a burlesque dancer, some music, a comedian, and I will be performing three readings. I will be reading one spoken word, one monologue and a bit from my novel. I put together the program, the schedule, and found people to donate their talent and time. I also found a place that was willing to offer up their space.

Promoting When You Feel You are an Imposter

Promoting is a huge part of the process and I am not the best at self promoting. Yet, I have to promote in order to get people to come to my fundraiser. How else do people know what you are doing ,and what it is they have the opportunity to see.

I have terrible imposter syndrome, so having this fundraiser and promoting it is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. If I wasn’t the main star and the subject and the needy, I could do it no problem. Since I am the star and it is about me, its more difficult for me to promote, because, and I’m sorry to admit this because it reveals the depths of my vulnerability, I just don’t think I’m worth much. I know, terrible to say, but I have a near zero level of self-esteem when it comes to my writing, art, photography– anything I create. Which I suppose is the definition of imposter syndrome. I’m trying though. I’m posting it all right here.

This is the first time I have ever done anything like this. A show about me for me. However, I have a lot of talented friends who will also be performing. Through all my insecurities, I believe the audiences is going to get a good show. For the promotion, I did a bunch of tongue in cheek promo pictures for my invite.

A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She is laughing as she holds a notebook, a pen and an umbrella over her shoulder.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in next to a garden. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She looks away from the camera smiling at someone out of the frame. She holds a notebook and a pen.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in next to a garden. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She looks away from the camera speaking to someone out of the frame. She holds a notebook and a pen.
A medium close up of a woman in profile. She is in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair, brown framed glasses and she is holding a clear umbrella with a koi fish print. She is dressed in a bright red sweater. She is looking at a notebook.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She looks at the camera as she holds a notebook, a pen and an umbrella over her shoulder.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She is writing in a black notebook as she holds an umbrella over her shoulder.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She holds a pen to her lips as she looks off in contemplation. She has a notebook, and an umbrella over her shoulder.
The writer
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She is writing in a black notebook as she holds an umbrella over her shoulder.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She looks at the camera as she holds a notebook, a pen and an umbrella over her shoulder.
What does a writer look like? A photo shoot for the Fundraiser invite

Don’t Short Change the Muse

The name of the show is, Don’t Short Change the Muse. It comes from something William Burroughs once said. It is on the 22nd of June and will be happening here in Portland. I’m not sure how many Portland people read this post, but if you want to come you are invited. The info is at the bottom of this post.

A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She holds a pen to her lips as she looks off in contemplation. She has a notebook, and an umbrella over her shoulder.
The writer
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She is writing in a black notebook as she holds an umbrella over her shoulder.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She looks at the camera as she holds a notebook, a pen and an umbrella over her shoulder.
A woman in her early 30's with blonde shoulder length hair is sitting on a chair in the middle of a road. She wears glasses and is dressed in a bright red sweater, a brown knee length skirt, and brown leggings. Her small heel shoes are black and white houndstooth. She is laughing as she holds a notebook, a pen and an umbrella over her shoulder.
We narrowed it down to these four.

The Final Invitation

In the end we decided to scrap the profile pictures and go with something else.

Don’t Short Change the Muse

Come join me and guests for one night at Bar Carlo for a variety show of readings, poetry, music, vaudeville, a couple loose cannons, opera and burlesque.
Help Adrienna raise tuition money for the Attic’s The Atheneum.
There will be a silent auction with donations from the following artists: and businesses:

Lucy’s Table, Presents of Mind, Tasi, Seasons K. Designs, From the Reliquary, SmashCuts, Artist Jen Smith, Jesse Jacob Young Photographer, Silk Rose Acupuncture, Technology is Real, Luscious Jewelry and more…

All funds go to Adrienna’s tuition.

A Sliding Scale Entrance fee of $5 to $15 dollars (no one will be turned away).

Doors open at 7:00p.m. show starts at 8:00 p.m.

A special thank you to Bar Carlo for the space.

Help make a great writer and help support a craftsperson. Writing like all other arts is a craft to be cultivated and nurtured. Writing done well is about community, it is about life.

An antique typewriter on a desk with worn books and written letters.